Is this an okay rap..?

You really hit your stride with those last several lines. The earlier stuff should be revised but this could be pretty awesome. Please rate mine. a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArMmujd95HHS0kB20jW_AWwM_dw4;_ylv=3?qid=20110416231001AAPUuSW"http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…/a